This is where you find my truest form of self, just a 19 year old girl trying to figure it out day by day. Whether what I put in this blog will interest you or even myself in a few years, I feel it is important to write. Anne Frank once said, "paper has more patience than people." I do have a diary, but it's the 21st century and I will more likely have the internet at the tip of my fingers quicker than a book. This blog is going to be more than what I'm thinking on a daily basis, or trivial manners. This isn't a diary. I'm not here to recount what is happening in my life. I'm here to delve into my inner thinkings about aspects of life such as perfection, importance, love. All these things that many people have dedicated their careers and philosophies to discover the true meaning of them. Looking back on my life I'm not going to wonder what made me mad or what boy I was crushing on. I'm going to wonder what I  thought about life. 
I want to dedicate my first post to the idea of perfection. A good friend of mine let me read his thoughts on perfection and with the new year approaching, I thought what better time to reflect on it. Everyone is setting out to make resolutions and a part of me doesn't believe in them. Why does it take the new year approaching to use an excuse to change ourselves drastically. Sure I have goals for this next year. But I think it is absurd that it takes a new year that society decides it's time to change every thing we don't like about ourselves. 
I've decided that perfection is unattainable. Everyone can take yesterday to improve upon tomorrow. So why pick this one day to decide to change yourself or to improve yourself. Why not go day by day and realize you want to live your life differently. Not devote a year to be someone new. I think everyday we are a new person from the day before. I think differently than I did yesterday. I believe differently than I did yesterday. I love differently than I did yesterday. I didn't do any of that consciously, I didn't create a resolution to do so. I'm growing as a person. 
I'm 19 years old, while I think that is very old, I have a lot more in my life to do and see. I fell in love once. I got my heart broken once. I may be alone and sometimes it does get lonely, I couldn't even picture having a boyfriend. These past 2 years of being single have been an incredible experience. I've learned so much about myself and what I want to get out of life and myself. I am so strong and surrounded by people who love me that I don't need to have someone on my arm to do all that.
Today is Christmas, and a new year is approaching and I'm so excited because I live for the fresh start. New possibilities to succeed and new possibilities to fail and learn. I will appreciate all of it. I    will cherish every moment because it is fleeting. I'm 19 but I    will only be 19 once. Only for 10 more months. I intend to make the most of it and be happy and smile more, laugh more, love more. Be happy more.
xo. CES